


Step by Step

by ApinchofWinwin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Pining, Slow Build, cuz who doesn't like them too, ft. winhyuck, markwin, other members of nct are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 21:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14860913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApinchofWinwin/pseuds/ApinchofWinwin
Summary: Mark is a coward, too scared to act on his emotions. It takes a while for him to actually get anywhere with his crush.





	Step by Step

**Author's Note:**

> okay this was ff was originally in my computer for a while but i never finished it. my brain was being annoying and telling me to finish it instead of studying/sleeping. as you can see, i finished it now instead of sleeping so hopefully this plot makes sense. i love markwin and there is barely anything out there so im taking part to bring us out of this drought.  
> see you later with hopefully another ff??

There was something so alluring to him. Mark couldn’t identify what it was at first. When he laid eyes on the new trainee that the staff brought into the dance room, there wasn’t a jittering feeling in his body before that he had now. The male’s gaze was cold and mismatched compared to the pastel pink sweater he was wearing. Despite how tall he looked, there wasn’t an intimidating presence that he felt when he met Johnny the first time. No, his wide shoulders linked his long limbs that didn’t make him look lanky but graceful instead. There was an aura around the other that made it hard for him to not stare dumbly at him.

“His name is Sicheng. He doesn’t know Korean that well yet so take care of him, okay?” the staff announced, his voice echoing in the silence of their dance room.

Along with the other trainees, Mark nodded and answered in unison. When the staff finally left and the new addition remained standing in the same position, the first person to go up to Sicheng was Yuta. The Japanese greeted him with his heart-warming smile, telling the other slowly that he was a foreigner and is willing to help him any time. Mark continued to watch the encounter from the corner of the room while everyone else decided to get back to practicing. From the reflection, he saw the cold eyes warm up and lips pull back into a smile. He thought his heart stopped; he ignored it though, thinking he was just out of breath from practicing.

He needed to focus. 

He didn’t talk to Sicheng much during their time as SM Rookies for fair reasons. Sicheng would go back and forth to China and Korea to attend classes, and he tended to stick close to the Chinese members, like Renjun and Kun, or Yuta (although Mark thinks it’s more Yuta not leaving the other alone). Mark was already set to debut in NCT U and was busy preparing with the dance practices and recordings. He would occasionally hear - eavesdrop if he were to be honest- about how cute the boy is from Yuta, who would gush to Hansol. It was when Sicheng was officially set to debut in NCT did the Chinese male become more present in his daily routine. Mark would see him in the dance room or passing each other in the hallway, on his way to Korean class. They would greet each other and occasionally talk a little bit. Mark was getting used to the deep voice that deliver cute accented Korean phrases. He was surprised initially, not expecting such a deep voice from “the cutest boy in the whole world” that Yuta always talked about. They were getting friendly and Mark didn’t ask for more. Looking back, Mark thinks at that point, his mind was probably unconsciously protecting him from falling too fast.

When NCT 127 finally debuted and NCT Life Paju was recorded, Mark found out that there were more people around Sicheng than before. Instead of only Yuta, it looked like Taeyong, Jaehyun, and Taeil have fallen for Sicheng’s charm. He watches Taeil look at Winwin in adoration, talking to him even though there are times he must slowly explain something. He tries not to look over his shoulder more than once as he sees Taeyong talking to Winwin near the ice cream section in the market. He pretends to find the ball in his hand interesting when Jaehyun is playing with Winwin near the small playground or tries to focus on his conversation with Haechan when the two are whispering to each other, arms around each other’s shoulder that makes Mark wonder how it would feel to have Winwin’s arm around him and his face so close that he could feel his warm breath near his neck.

Snap out of it, he tells himself. He needs to keep himself a comfortable distance. He can’t let his emotions get the best of him. 

When they were promoting Limitless, Mark is beginning to realize how hard it may be to hold back. They were filming for Nimdle, playing games planned by the staff. They’ve did relays and questions already. Even during the filming and the breaks between, Mark can’t help but look enviously at his members for being able to get close to Winwin or openly display their affection without barrier, especially the older members. He wants to be able to casually cling onto Winwin even with camera and people all around them just like Yuta. But, he thinks it isn’t right for him.

Winwin just won their round for Twister and it was the next group’s turn. He notices the Chinese holding the spinner, fidgeting with the plastic pointer with his slim fingers. Mark doesn’t know what courage went through his body when he walked towards him and said they could give the commands together. His offer was happily accepted as Winwin pulls onto Mark’s arm and closes the little space between them with an appreciative nod. Mark’s hand goes up to his hat to pull it down more to hide his nervous fidget. The scent of honey and vanilla from the tall male beside him makes his mind go hazy. He pulls himself together and focuses on giving out directions. When the game ends, Mark comments to himself that he should never put himself in a position like that ever again. He doesn’t regret it though, rubbing his arm that still felt the warm touch of the other’s hand.

His days were becoming longer as the company continues to add schedule after schedule for him. He’s one of the last ones who would arrive back home, after hours of recording or practicing for his next gig. When Doyoung greets him from the comfort of their living room coach, Mark tries to pull a smile as if it would make the dark circles under his eyes disappear. Doyoung starts to talk to him, asking him how his day was and so forth. He was always the most caring member in the group, almost like a mother. But today, Mark wasn’t up for a long talk about his day. He just wants to take a shower and sleep. The Canadian doesn’t show that emotion though and goes along with Doyoung. He sits on the coach with Doyoung and hugs a pillow in him arms. He hears the shuffling of feet and mixture of voices that gradually get louder in the hallway. Turning, he sees three figures walking out from the area. It was Haechan, Taeil, and Winwin. Winwin was on his phone, tapping it a few times with his fingers while Haechan is laughing loudly after Taeil, who is clinging onto Winwin with an arm around his neck, said something funny. Taeil unlatches himself from Winwin to head to the kitchen with Haechan. Winwin mutters something about wanting a soda from the fridge before going towards the coach where Doyoung and Mark were.

He looks up from his phone. “Oh, Mark, did you just get back?”

It’s been a while since they’ve talked, and it actually makes Mark not regret pushing himself to sit down to talk with Doyoung. “Yeah, I just got back a few minutes ago. I was just talking to Doyoung.”

Winwin looks at Doyoung with a wide-eyed stare. “Doyoung hyung, are you giving him a _parent_ talk?”

Doyoung immediately sits up straight and yells, “I am not!”

“Mark is probably tired,” Winwin switches his gaze to Mark, who looks at him stunned. He grins at him and it makes Mark’s heart skip a beat. “You just want to shower and get to bed right?”

How did he know? How did Winwin always know his true feelings? Mark had mastered to art of holding in his feelings after years of training since he was a child. He never let his true emotions hinder or affect those around him. Even if he’s tired, he doesn’t want to make other’s worried about him.

Mark opens his mouth, flustered by the accurate assumption. He should deny it but he knows the tip of his ears were probably red so there is no point if he’s been caught red-handed. Instead, Doyoung is the one who speaks, “Okay, okay, I’ll stop talking. Next time, Mark, you should just tell me if you are too tired to talk.”

Mark nods and mutters an apology before getting up. He walks by Winwin, who continues to sit on the coach. He finds himself too embarrassed to look into the older male’s eyes, so he tries to keep his hand down and rub the back of his neck. When he passes the blackhaired male, Mark feels a reassuring tap on the lower part of his back and he glances back at Winwin, who flashes him a smile before refocusing on his phone’s screen. He goes to his room and when he lies down in bed, Mark can’t help but sleep with a small smile on his face.

NCT 127 soon made a comeback with Cherry Bomb and that meant more group schedules. He’s happy because promoting by himself made him miss the bustling noise and chaos that was the norm with his group. However, maybe being away from them too long made Mark forget how to act around the norm. When he sees Haechan playfully giving a kiss to Winwin, Mark thinks something snaps inside of him. He was already used to Haechan’s open display of affection towards those he was close to. He’s been on the receiving end of those kisses before, but Mark doesn’t know why there’s a boiling sensation rooted deep in his stomach. He watches from the corner of the waiting room as Winwin tries to dodge from Haechan’s insistent kisses that he’s been giving him the past few minutes. Mark looks away from the scene and then to his notebook that was filled with rap verses he was working on. He stares at the Korean words he wrote. Nothing goes through and he closes his eyes in frustration.

He was talking to Haechan while the rest of the members were playing around in the waiting room. Mark was just sitting on the sofa when the younger male came up to him, clinging onto him and playfully trying to plant some kisses on his face. Mark kept resisting until he didn’t know what made him pull the plug. He angrily tells the other to stop saying he was cute when he was older than him. He tells him not to kiss him anymore. His frustrations begin to pour out and eventually everything drops.

“It’s disrespectful okay? You can’t just do that to someone older than you. Do you see me doing that to Winwin hyung?!”

Mark wants to slap a hand over his dumb mouth as he watches Haechan squint his eyes at him.

“Winwin hyung? Is this why you are so fussy nowadays?” Haechan almost laughs in disbelief. “You don’t think no one sees you pining over him all this time? Just because I have the guts to even get close to him rather than running away, don’t you dare try to act jealous when you should be blaming yourself.” The other gets up and glares at him. “Come talk to me when you man up to your own feelings instead of getting angry at other people.” Mark watches the other walk straight back to Winwin, who was busy talking to Doyoung about this game on his phone, leaving himself to sit there fuming. Angry at no one other than himself.

Haechan doesn’t talk to him for the next few weeks and the other members begin to notice. No one addresses it though, the older members probably wanting the two to learn how to work things out among themselves. After all, they were basically best friends. Mark doesn’t blame Haechan because he was the one who was acting stupid. So, he wasn’t surprised when one night, he finds himself with a new roommate when he gets back from recording. He decides to make it up to Haechan when he isn’t as busy as he is now.

He sits in alone in the shared space located on the practice room floors. Most of the trainees and artists have left to go home since it was a Sunday. On his watch, he reads that it is 8 PM. He places his notebook down onto the table and runs a hand over his face. There is only a few days before the next recording of Snowball Project and he isn’t content yet. A hand falls onto his head, giving a slight rub. He looks up and he thought he saw an angel, ready to save him from his hell.

“Hey, how is practicing going?” Winwin sits down on the chair across from Mark.

Mark straightens his sitting posture and just awkwardly shakes his head. “I still need a lot of practice.”

“You could do it!” Winwin tries to encourage him. He purses his lips and Mark can’t help but stare. “Sorry I can’t provide any help.”

Mark shakes his head furiously. “What do you mean? It’s fine! You aren’t a rapper anyways!” he tries to assure the other, who looks at his wide eyed. He sees an innocent smile form on his face and Mark wants to squeal.

“Did you eat dinner yet?”

At the mention of food, Mark tries to remember the last time he ate, which was at 12 PM, and his stomach growls on cue. The two looked at each other and laughed.

The two walked down the streets, side by side, talking about whatever. Mark hasn’t felt so free and relaxed like this in a while. Winein starts to talk about the new movie Yuta and him watched last night. Mark gives an ocassional nod and "mhm"s to show he was listening. He also admires Winwin’s side profile as the city lights lit behind it. His eyes outline the smooth line of his nose bridge down to his chin. Even without make-up, he can still easily charm anyone who looks at him. After walking a few minutes, they enter a small restaurant and ordered food.

“So,” Winwin says, “how are you and Haechan doing?”

Mark stiffens and a thin line forms on his lips. “We just got into a little argument that’s all.” Winwin goes him a knowing face and Mark groans. “Okay, kind of big one but it’s nothing, don’t worry. I know I was in the wrong and I just need to find time to apologize to him in-person.”

Winwin nods happily. “That’s good. It feels weird to have you guys not talking to each other.”

Mark nods his head. If he were honest, he kind of missed talking to Haechan. 

“How are you and Taeil hyung?”

Winwin shakes his head and chuckles. “He’s the same annoying hyung. I mean, anything he does really doesn’t matter to me, as long as he doesn’t mess with me and my games."

Mark laughs. He admires that side of Winwin. He admires how free he acts. He doesn’t hold back his emotions, no matter whether it being happiness or annoyance. The way his eye turned to moon crescents and straight teeth gleaming for everyone to see when he found something funny. His straight face and frown when anyone bothers him. The way a wrinkle forms and eye brow raised when he doesn’t understand a certain Korean word. His sheepish expression and little itch on the side of his head when he is embarrassed. He isn't afraid to show all these emotions even when he is in foreign land. He holds this confidence that Mark doesn’t have. Maybe that’s why Mark was so scared. 

When the two finished eating, they head back quietly to the dorm and bid each other good night.

Mark tries talking to Haechan during their promotions with NCT Dream. The younger one doesn’t give in too easily, easily avoiding him by going to the other members to busy himself. When he tries to talk to him the hundredth time, Haechan gives in and lets Mark talk. When Mark finishes his spill of an apology, Haechan stares at Mark as if waiting for more.

“What?” Mark looks at him in bewildered, thinking that his apology wasn’t perceived as good enough.

“What do you mean, ‘what?’” Haechan throws his hands at him. “Are you going to man up and actually interact with Winwin hyung or continue being a coward?”

Mark’s back straightens, and he looks down at his now sweaty palm. “Well…”

“Oh my god,” Haechan exasperatedly groans. “First, I can’t believe you are older than me, and now this. Okay, look. If you aren’t going to do anything, I hope you don’t get mad when you see your crush giving me kisses and hugs, got it?”

“I-I’ll try,” Mark’s voice is breaking and uneven. He clears his throat again and says it with a firmer tone. “I’ll keep trying.”

Haechan sighs but cracks a small smile. “I guess this is progress.”

Progress involves trial and error, Mark knows this. But, boy, does he wish it was less embarrassing on his part. During their activities, such as attending concerts and fan meets, Mark doesn’t know how many times he wanted to interact with Winwin and his nerves got the best of him. Even when he gathers the courage, it’s too late because someone else is coddling the Chinese male. Haechan would either scold or tease him after about it. Mark would like to argue that there was some progress since he was finally able to stand next to Winwin without acting like stone and be a nervous mess. Plus, Winwin has been comfortable enough to put his arm around him numerous times (again, Mark likes to earn some credit for not passing out during those times). Haechan dismisses his claims, saying that this behavior is normal for Winwin whenever he is with the members. This being something Mark can’t argue after witnessing him do the same with anyone, even Doyoung, who was slightly taller than him.

He thinks he was the most embarrassed when during a concert around the time of Winwin’s birthday, the members were talking about the upcoming event in the ment. As Winwin is placed in the center of attention, everyone starts cheering and Mark feels the urge to hug Winwin. He feels his arm at the side of him, itching to bring the tall lean male into a hug. But, hesitation becomes his downfall when Yuta comes in and collects the other foreigner into a long endearing hug. Mark tries to not look disappointed and form a small smile on his lips, his eyes drooping slightly due to the lost chance.

He soon finds out that his failure was videotaped and shared among their fans, when Winwin barges into his room. Mark startles up from his bed, his almond eyes widened in shock. He remains in bed when Winwin immediately goes towards him and sits on the comforter. Winwin’s phone is in his hand and there’s a video playing on the screen.

“Mark, look,” he says, but it sounds more like a command. Mark follows it.

He watches the video play on the screen and realizes it was replaying at the moment where he was too scared to give a hug to Winwin. In the frame, his hesitant eyes were apparent, and the slight disappointment couldn’t be hidden. He feels his whole face warming up.

“I—”

“Did you want to get a hug from me that badly?” Winwin puts down his phone and looks at him curiously.

Mark wants to say yes but he thinks it sounds too desperate. He stays silent as he tries to determine which response would be the better choice. Winwin takes that silence though as a yes and pulls the other into a long hug, his arms wrapped around the other's shoulder. Initially, the Canadian-born is stunned and it takes a few seconds before he reacts and wraps his arm around the other. It then does he realize how thin and small Winwin’s body actually is compared to his. From afar, his height and proportions make him seem bigger than he really is. He takes in the warmth and scent of the other before their moment ends when Winwin pulls away from the hug. Mark looks on at Winwin, eyebrows pulled up to his forehead as he waits expectantly as to what the older male will do next. Winwin giggles at how cute the other looked.

“You know, I won’t be mad at you if you try to hug me or anything?”

This makes Mark blush and he unconsciously looks down at his hands that were rubbing the fabric of his blanket between his fingers. Then, he feels a hand placed over his head and looks up to meet the warming gaze of the Chinese, but this time only a few inches apart.

“Y-you won’t get annoyed?” Mark asks, feeling like a child. The way Winwin’s hand is caressing his head and then sliding down to the side of his neck and ear, and giving it a slight doting pinch, it reminds Mark how Winwin is older than him even when he looks like a cute baby to him sometimes.

Winwin shakes his head. There’s a wide smile on his face and Mark’s stomach starts to do summersaults. “Nope.”

“W-why?” Mark thinks about the times the Chinese got annoyed with Taeil and Yuta’s constant touching before. He’s even seen him get a little annoyed with Jaehyun.

“Because you’re my precious dongsaeng,” Winwin starts to explain, his deep voice quieter now. “Also, I like you.”

Mark thinks the whole world is frozen around him and he just wants to stay in this moment forever. He wants to yell for joy, but he understands his surroundings. Instead, there is a wide smile on his face that he knows will make his cheeks hurt afterwards. He pulls Winwin into a hug which makes the other laugh. The two talked for a while after, Mark explaining to him the lack of confidence he had in himself that reflected in his own work and Winwin, and Winwin venting out his own worries and annoyances. Mark soon realizes that there are times Winwin lacks confidence just like himself. It takes a while for Mark to get used to just simply going up to his crush and openly pinching his cheeks (a habit now) or leaning his head on the other’s shoulder. The other members don’t notice at first, it’s Haechan who pulls Mark to the side. When Mark updates his best friend about everything that happened, he receives a slap on the back as a congratulation. Haechan also proceeds to give a warning along the lines of “He’s yours but don’t you dare steal away my time with him.” Mark doesn’t take it personal because he ultimately has to share the popular male with the rest of the members anyways. They aren’t dating yet either.

The other members start to notice the sudden change in dynamic between the pair when Mark becomes more vocal in calling Winwin, “Winwin-gege” in a loving tone, the increase in skinship, and attention when Winwin speaks. A clear indicator is when it was revealed that the two chose each other as their NCT bias. Mark receives a long lecture and gives a much-needed explanation to Taeil when they got back to the dorms. After all the uproar, it doesn’t change the fact Mark couldn’t feel any more content and happier than he does now.

He’s progressing slowly with a few bumps, but it’s okay, because everything needs to go step by step.


End file.
